I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
