I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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