fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
