you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
