she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
