We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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