My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
