don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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