No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
