I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
