I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize