She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
