my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
