C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
