one two three fourrrrnication!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
