the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
