Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize