So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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