You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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