I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
