We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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