Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize