I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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