it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
