I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
