im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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