Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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