Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
