stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize