He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
