Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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