Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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