i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Randomize
