Sry I called you an 8
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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