this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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