Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
