no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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