someone threw a dead crab at me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
