so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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