WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
