i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
