Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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