I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
