He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize