On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
