the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
