New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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