Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
