she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
