No stitches, just platelets and will power
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
