They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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