He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
