We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
