White coat. Heels.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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