im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need moral support for this bender
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
