Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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