Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
