Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
love makes seman taste better
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
