so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
